Boxing / Alex Steedman / 27 October 2008 / Leave a comment

It's the Buck versus the Dude for Alex Steedman when Joe Calzaghe travels to New York for his tussle with Roy Jones Jnr. Alex selected Hopkins to topple Pavlik in his last preview, so what's his verdict here? Read on...

Let me tell you a story. It's the mid 90s, there's this scruffy kid from Madchester with a mop for hair and toilet brush for a tongue. And there's this other young guy from the Sarf, who speaks French and uses long words. They don't like each other, a scrap seems certain.

Elsewhere, in a land where sheep and rugby balls live, there's a handsome young buck certain about only one thing; He loves to scrap and he hates to lose. He hears talk of a brash dude with big fists from a far foreign land. They don't really know each other but a scrap seems assured.

Don't ask me why but the truth is none of those guys got it on. Personally I think the foul mouthed mop head might have taken a pasting. As for the Buck and the Dude, they both got sick in the car on long journeys and never met.

But a funny thing happened to the Buck and the Dude. They got older and curious and they decided to meet after all. The Buck heard rumour of a city where a grey lady holds up ice creams for out of town visitors. He's half Italian and likes ice cream. The Dude had been to that same city the year before when he beat up a podgy small boy who had been excused PE for 3 years. Most people thought the Dude was a bully but were surprised that he couldn't knock the little boy over.

At that time, the Buck went west to meet a crafty old man who kept calling him names. Although he got sand on his bum and they wrestled for hours, the Buck won, just. Nobody had ever beaten the Buck. Not the tall Viking or the squat little man with the big muscles and certainly not the funny little cartoon character with the flat nose.

The Dude had been scuffed up before though, quite badly. The tall bald man they called the Carver chopped him down very quickly and then he fell down again against another old bald man. He said he'd been eating too many cakes so he could beat a big, heavy man from Mexico the previous year and was feeling better after drinking some special milk shakes.

The moment of truth came when they met in the squared garden. The Dude was nervous after his famous falls but when the bell rang, he started moving his hands very fast. For a while the Buck seemed transfixed by the spells being cast before him. But as usual, the Buck kept running around and kept trying.

Once upon a time the Dude had been a brilliant spell caster but his power had weaned as he approached 39 years and 1. So it was that the Buck kept slapping the Dude, not very hard but enough to annoy him and to make him feel sleepy. And when the Headmaster said it was time to go home, the other teachers agreed that the Buck was the winner.

Verdict: The Buck alias Joe Calzaghe to win.
Method of victory: Points.